My Crappy Soundtrack

CRS is being its usual, annoying, slow-as-molasses self, and it's pissing me off. I'm pretty sure some of you can sympathize with my plight, so excuse this product of my boredom.

Here's the sorta-kinda-maybe soundtrack of my life (I wanna feel like my life's a boring movie, so just humor me, okay? Thank you). So far. Some songs just leave a lasting mark, some actually tell a story about me, and some I like just for the heck of it.

T H E P L A Y L I S T ;)

30 Seconds To Mars - From Yesterday - 'On a mountain he sits, not of gold, but of sin' - Sometimes, we stay seated, and the mountain grows higher and higher until we could no longer see the bottom. The mountain never stops growing anyway, but we could retard its growth, erode its body with measures only we know of. But we never do, do we?

The Cardigans - Lovefool - Ia-chan knows my fascination with this song when we were high school seniors. She knows it sooooo well since I can't help but belt it out every time the beautiful Narcissus named Michael Blancaver would pass by in a swift sprint, his hair rippling in the wind, his supple limbs carrying him away to...*ahem* Sorry. Got carried away.

Switchfoot - You - This made me realize that faith is a precious gift I have yet to receive.

Jason Mraz - A Beautiful Mess - Practically every song of Jason Mraz could leave a mark (because he's a songwriting genius, who's hot to boot, but that's beside the point), but this one...just surpassed everything he has ever written. In my opinion, at least. I won't go into detail why this song is here. It just is, and I'm happy for that.

Jason Mraz - Love for A Child - 'What about taking this empty cup and filling it up with a little bit more of innocence' - For someone who deserved a carefree childhood, one with lesser pain and responsibility, you know who you are. Thank you.

Hawthorne Heights - This Is Who We Are - Just plain wicked. I don't need a reason to like it. :D

The Used - Paralyzed - The song's kooky and fun, despite the highschool drama lyrics.

Staind - Everything Changes - Because everything changes. It's just too bad that we realize it a little too late, sometimes.

Jimmy Eat World - The Middle - Never fails to inspire without sounding like a guidance counselor on crack.


Alanis Morissette - You Oughta Know - 'Does she know how you told me you'd hold me until you died, till you died, but you're still alive' - Always makes me think of the typical bastard who cheated on his girlfriend, only with this song, the scenario in my head involves his tied-up corpse, lots of blood, a satisfied ex-girlfriend and the bottom of a nearby lake. :D

Smash Mouth - All Star - 'Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb' - The best wake-up call that I've ever had. Statistics isn't everything. Numbers do not make the world go round. We can go on with our lives believing the crap that others feed us, but at the end of the day, those figures don't and won't matter. What will matter is you. Me. Us. After all, it's our lives. We make it happen. Not the diploma. Not the number of digits in our paycheck. Not those exchange rates in the newspaper. Not the amount of people above the poverty line, nor those below it. It's easier said than done, but it's probably for the best.

...

So...that's that. I most likely will encounter more songs that would tickle my fancy for good in the near future, but as of the moment, that is IT. Share your own soundtracks, will ya? ;)

A Public Apology (-_-)

I can't believe I'm doing this. Sarah, you crazy woman. This is damaging the (nonexistent) reputation of my blog! Heck, I don't even know how to do a public apology. Demet.

Friends and non-friends, this so-called public apology is issued due to the demands of one Sarah Kristine G********.

Tsk. Hindi naman malalaman ng madla na para sa'yo yung article na Silly Rants that Nobody Reads kung hindi ka nagreact sa cbox ko. At nilagay mo pa yung totoo mong pangalan! Hay. Baliw ka talaga.

Before anything else, I need to refute your claims that said article is a defamation of character.

(1) It should be a derogatory AND false statement concerning another.

Sarah dear, it is sorta-kinda-maybe derogatory, but even you cannot deny that what I wrote is nothing but the truth...blah blah blah. You said that yourself. Heck, you ARE proud of it, and I love you for that friend, but I gotta speak my mind, ya know?

(2) Damage to the plaintiff (this is you, Sarah).

Did my post expose you to ridicule, contempt and injury? *waits for answer* Hmmm. I thought so, too. Only a few people find it in their precious time to drop by this waste of virtual space, and most are my highschool friends and family relatives. Only a handful are from the university. And even then, they don't even know who you are. And you said yourself that there's no damage done. (Why am I doing this again? Oh yeah. Because if I don't, you'll tell that fratboy friend of yours that I think he's an arrogant, pompous jerk who thinks he's God's gift to women? Damn I hate him.)

Ahem. Moving on. This is my apology:

Hehehe. Sorry. That was a bad joke. Well, there are a couple of things that I really am sorry for. Let me take excerpts from the article, yeah?

(1) "...I'll just take all these precious BLESSINGS since I deserve them. GOD wouldn't give them to me if I didn't deserve them.
Oh, and I suppose your precious God thinks those penniless college kids deserve to be penniless, and those abused wives deserve the abuse?..."

That was waaaaaay out of line, I admit. So I apologize. You respect my state of religious disarray, and so I should respect your religious stability, too.

(2) "...I'm just hanging on desperately to that slim chance that you'll realize the MASSIVE insignificance of your Nine West shit when you bite the dust. Permanently. ..."

THAT one, I REALLY regret. I shouldn't even have thought of that. Damn I'm such a bad person. I think I was listening to Queen that time so I thought of using that line. Meh, I shouldn't even be trying to spout pathetic excuses. Point is, I'm so sorry. This coming semester, I'll treat you to turon every week. Swear!

So there. Sowweee. *grovels*. Je suis tres desolee. I know that most of the time, I write before I think and someday I'll be killed because of that. (feeling isang mamamahayag) But what I can't bear is losing a friend like you to my harsh and thoughtless crap. I can't promise that I won't do it again, though. :D

Edit: So you're THAT loaded, dear. Damn I wanna be like your Dad. Well, go buy more of that Louis Vimajig that you like so much. I doubt that it'll even put a dent on your riches. Damn. I think you can buy Johnny Depp for a night with your dough. Tell me again, why are you even putting up with peyups when you can study in an Ivy League university?

Edit: Sure kang ayaw mong i-sub ang Louis Vimajigs mo for...say...a backpack? They have more space for your stuff, are more practical and easier to carry...Haha I'm dork. (-_-) Or, you can ditch those Luichiny-whaddayacallems and just use...er...cheaper brands? And you can't even use UGGs in this scorching country, for the love of cows! (-_-)

Silly Rants that Nobody Reads

WARNING: Severe preaching. Cuss words. Occasional crap scattered about. Watch your step.

Sigh. There's only so much one can rant about THE great blunder, Twilight and Co. As of the moment, I cannot think of more shit to dish on the cliche-turned-bestseller, not that it's due to lack of trying. There are just more pressing issues to vociferate on and on and on about. Take, for example, people who measure their self-worth with the pairs of shoes that they have, how much dough they trash on handbags, clothes, bling... ya know, all that shit that's supposed to make a woman's world go 'round.

Psh. What a load of bullcrap.

I don't really have a say with what you do with your parents' hard-earned cash, but I'm going to do it anyway, since this waste of virtual space is MY blog. *insert evil cackle here*

I've always wondered how you could sleep peacefully at night with this hanging over your head(if you do have a conscience, that is).

Wait. You probably don't sleep at all. And methinks it's not because of your conscience bothering you.

Tell me, what kind of perverse atonement do you derive from flaunting your plastic wares for all to see? And when questioned about your unorthodox garbage choices, why do you spout psychological, marketing balderdash that just makes you look more like a faker than you already are?

Rona: OUCH! Is that a burn or is that a burn?!

You might be thinking right now, Ooooooh, it's the ugly green monster rearing its head, poor widdle teenie who can't afford even a single handle of my LV handbag!

Believe it or believe it, it's not envy talking. It's actually my indignant, self-righteous bullshit that's talking. And I admit, it's worse than the green monster because this cannot be soothed by mere delusions of a panoramic grandeur. Whatever that is. And hey, this isn't about me. It's about YOU. For once, someone's giving you the spotlight without you having to hog it all to your selfish self. How good does that feel?!

You talk about how you deserve all this crap because of countless Herculean tasks (ooooh) that you have to endure every single day of your life, but you never did walk the talk. It's human nature, really, to amplify one's suffering for the justification of one's hankering for worldly goods, but YOU took it to the next level. Bravo. Not.

Believe it or not, there are more people out there who suffer more than you do. There are girls who are not only dumped by their boyfriends, but are also knocked up and left to rot in child support. There are students who do not even have to worry about what clothes they should wear to classes the next day, because they're not even sure if they could go to classes at all. There are wives who have more things to worry about than just their kids and their husbands. They have to think about how to hide that hideous bruise from that ugly row last night, how to deal with the whispers and knowing stares of neighbors who have nothing better to do with their lame lives, how to survive the day under the pressure of abuse.

You have it easy. And you're probably thinking, with the way your twisted mind works, Okay, sure, I know about those cases, but I can't save everyone. What do you want me to do? I'll just take all these precious BLESSINGS since I deserve them. GOD wouldn't give them to me if I didn't deserve them.

Oh, and I suppose your precious God thinks those penniless college kids deserve to be penniless, and those abused wives deserve the abuse?

Okay, I'm getting off-topic. Back on track.

Lookie here, I'm not expecting you to help everyone. No one can achieve that (well, except maybe for Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and Carlos Slim Helu combined, but that's beside the point). I'm just hanging on desperately to that slim chance that you'll realize the MASSIVE insignificance of your Nine West shit when you bite the dust. Permanently.

If you can't, then just keep your sinful (LOL. I said sinful! That sounds so...Pope-ish.) lust on the down low. You don't have to flaunt it in front of people who do not give a damn about your latest purchases. You're just making more enemies along the way.

On the other hand, you can flaunt all you want in front of me. It's so amusing to pretend that I'm sooooo interested in your latest designer piffle, while I'm really rolling on the floor guffawing. Figuratively, of course.

Sigh. I don't feel pity for people that often. You should be proud. :)

This Post Seemed Mandatory, So...

Pacman bagged the match. Again. Well, that wasn't so surprising, considering the fact that he's the Pound-for-Pound boxer (or something like that. Heck, I don't even know what that means) and he beat the crap out of Oscar dela Hoya.

And Barrera. And Larios. And Morales (who I think is a damn fine piece of Aztec specimen. Yum. :D)

What shocked me shitless was the fact that Ricky "The Hitman" (psh. right.) Hatton barely lasted two rounds. TWO FRICKIN' ROUNDS! C'mon! That was pathetic.

Well I guess we can't blame him completely since his trainer is a pompous...um...posterior who probably underestimated Pacman. AND I've seen the replay of the legendary sucker punch that felled the British on slow-mo, so I guess he deserves a teensy bit of sympathy. I was surprised that his jaw hadn't dislodged or something.

Or did it?

Anyway, I'm no fan of Pacquiao, and I would rather he lost the match due to some reasons (ahempoliticiansflockingtohimlikeparasitesahem), but it's nice that another Filipino has hogged the screens and spreads. I was getting sick of Charice Pempemngco I could barf up my dinner everytime she appears on the news. Ugh.

craptaker: *glances around cluelessly and scratches head* What the hell is this place?

rona: *appears out of nowhere, like a nasty fungus* It's your blog, shithead.

craptaker: *frowns and makes herself seem like a bigger idiot* What's a...blog?

rona: Dumbass. *rolls eyes and stomps off into hell-knows-where*

craptaker: *sprawls on the virtual floor and stares at the header* Hmm...blog...blog...

Merci beaucoup, mes amis :)

It's over.

Rona: Yeah. It is.

Tempus fugit. Freshman year had been a blur. Parang rumaragasang Porsche Carrera GT lang. Wooosh. Speed.

Should I recap the events, my (mis)adventures and frien(emies) that I made?

Blah. Wag na.

Ngayon nga lang, hirap na hirap ako magisip ng sasabihin. Siguro dahil sabaw pa ang utak ko dahil sa finals. Oh baka dahil talagang nagbakasyon ang utak ko, inunahan pa 'ko. Sana neither.

Nga pala, salamat kay Thea at Cheska sa masasayang pagkakataong sinipag akong umattend ng English 1. Wala tayong ginawa kundi magdaldalan sa likod (at kumain, courtesy of Cheska). Ang dami nga nating natutunan. Hindi nga lang galing kay Ma'am. :D

Salamat kina Morgan, Ivy, Kenji at Nikki na kasama kong kinabahan sa mga pamatay na graded recitations ni Ma'am Gripaldo sa Kas1. Mamimiss ko ang pagiging boy-crazy niyo, lalo na sina Ivy't Kenji. :D

Salamat kina Venice (seatmate!), Danielle at Roxie dahil nagenjoy ako sa pangbabalahura natin kay Ma'am at sa kanyang aversion to heat and ceiling fan noise. Pinapatay niya lagi yung ceiling fan kasi maingay daw, pero naiinitan naman siya. Ano daw? Pati na rin kina Harmond, Vic at Precious na talaga namang masayang kausap, salamat. Mamimiss ko ang ating English 12. Except kay Ma'am. At ang tendency ng kanyang mind to...wander to places we (the students) cannot reach. :D

Salamat kay Ate (!), Cheska (ulit) at Jomar dahil at least di ako nakatulog sa NatSci1 dahil sa kakornihan ni Dr. Abastillas. Pero aminin na natin na ang kanyang halakhak ay certified shock inducer haha.

Salamat kina Carlito, Alvin, Pam, Alyssa, Noelle, Regine, Alyanna, Lord (tao ito), Hender, Rainbow, Eliza, Maricris at Angel dahil naging bongga ang French 10 at 11 ko dahil sa mga dynamic at kakaiba niyong personalities.

Salamat kina Jen, Andrew, Hazel, Ian Kim, Rosie, Claire at Chindie. Kayo ang mga kasama ko nang una kong maexperience ang ma-boycott ng isang propesor. You know what I'm talkin about. Enough said. :D

Salamat kina Morgan (ulit), Cheska (ULIT. haha) at Zy dahil sama-sama tayong nagrelax sa Bio1 natin kay Herrera. Uy ang taas ng grade ko dun, walang report-report yan. :P

Hindi ko maaaring makalimutan si Neil. Salamat sa 'yo. :)

Salamat kina Slegna, Martha, Miho, Lei, Kuya Justin, Armand at Lea. Masaya ang MS1. Si Ma'am, hindi.

Salamat kina Meilee, Ramil, Rea at Neil (ulit. *insert lovestruck sigh here*). Mabuhay si Ma'am Roderos. Pero ang mga exams niya, please lang. Kinailangan ko ng blood transfusion matapos lumabas sa classroom niya. (read: execution chamber). Kahit dugo ng manok pinatos ko na.

Salamat kina Trish, Faye, Aicel, Julie, Laura, Daryl, Melissa, Criselda, Nico, Jaimee, Abi, Ate Abi, Claire, Karla, Gorby, Philip, Angelica at Steff. Goodluck naman sa atin. Feeling ko probi ako. T___T

At syempre pa, hindi ko maaaring malimutan sina JIHAN, SARAH at ROSELLE na simula pa lang ay kasama ko na sa masalimuot na mundo ng EL. Mahal ko kayo, mga kaibigan. :D

Naging makabuluhan ba ang unang semestre?

Ikaw ang magsabi.

Coming Out the Closet

I am an atheist.

Whew. Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?

Self, I beg to differ. I might as well have said that I am a lesbian (which I am not), and I would have received a much calmer, and certainly warmer, acceptance.

Scratch that, I wouldn’t have been accepted. Period.

That is not my melodramatic self talking, nor is it the manifestation of my tendency to exaggerate. We would have to accept (and admit) the fact that atheism in the Philippine setting is like trying to piece together wrong puzzle pieces. The Philippines is a widely Christian country and a Muslim minority where religion is an integral part of society and culture. Our history is heavily influenced by religion; though we cannot be certain whether the effects of which have done more good than harm, it has, nevertheless, augmented the growth of our country. Moreover, it is apparent in Philippine history that the Church has had an encompassing influence over the governance of provinces.

Having established that, I can reiterate that atheism does not have a place in Philippine society, considering the fact that its foundations are deeply entrenched in dogma. It cannot flourish as a justifiable substitute for those who are starting to question their beliefs and it certainly does not help that most theists’ reactions are those of disdain or even disgust when an individual divulges his being an atheist. It is treated like a disease; probably on a level of intolerance that homosexuality receives. This pushes most non-believers into “hiding”- choosing to remain silent and “in the closet”, instead of speaking up, lest they be treated differently by their peers and family.

http://s202.photobucket.com/albums/aa144/Primate_bucket/?action=view&current=cartoon20060222.gif

On a more personal note, when I expressed indifference about a Christian-themed T.V. series that a family member absolutely adores, she said things that bordered on bigotry and discrimination. Naturally, they hurt coming from a family member, yet no matter how I forced the thoughts away, I just couldn’t help but think, Wow, those are your so-called Christian virtues, huh?

I ended up trying to keep my mouth shut and taking all the things she said in stride. Had you heard the words, you would have thought that I was in a cult worshipping Satan and killing innocents as offerings. Yep. It was that bad. (I just want to clarify that I have nothing against Satanists; we all have our beliefs, anyway. Or in my case, non-belief.)

There. I have “come out of the proverbial closet”, so to speak. Now, I am only waiting for the raised eyebrows (best case scenario) and disownment (REALLY worst case scenario) that I might receive from certain people.

Plato help me.