Today, I watched High School Musical 3 with my family, and it was weird. It didn't really suck, but Gabriella was like a freaking brothel dancer. WARNING: MAJOR spoilers and severe language misuse and character-bashing. And Disney-bashing. And Ryelsi-shipping. Not for the faint of heart and die-hard Troyella fans. This is not really a serious review, after all, HSM3 is not really a serious movie, yeah? And before anything else, I love HSM, so the bashing and shitting are just part of loving it, heh.
Needless to say, I almost had a heart attack when Troy's face suddenly popped up on screen in the first scene, panting like a dog in heat. It was hot, yeah, if you ignore the fact that he had excessive pink lip gloss on and he was sweating buckets of fake sweat. Then there comes the proverbial deciding shot where the unknown player (in HSM 3, the Rocketboy or whatever) makes it and the team wins. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. (What team? WILDCATS! What team? WILDCATS!)
Then there's the post-victory party, in which the puke-inducing scene of Troyella on the oh-so-secluded tree house (which just came out of nowhere) made me throw up all the cheeseburger and fries that I gobbled up during the previews (that House Bunny movie seemes hilarious. must watch it). The next scene is...AGAIN...full of fucked-up Troyella. This is the part where Gabriella dances a la brothel style, and I got hit smack-dab on the face by a hot, dripping Troy. (You just gotta admit it, Troy's man-bangs is hot. I mean, girly hair on a manly guy? Come on.)
Let's go to the new characters, shall we? Jimmy the Rocketboy is downright freaky, man. He's started following Troy around like a whore in heat ever since the Wildcats' win, and he's asking for Troy's old locker. He says that it will give him an edge or superpowers in basketball or something, but let's face it, he's a gay stalker who's got the hots for the hot captain. I seriously think that he totally wants to steal Troy's gym shorts and sleep with it. And then there's Tiara Gold. I think she's an annoying, little cockroach. And unlike what Sharpay said, her accent is so not sweet, very far from Daniel Radcliffe's steaming British accent. It's like she's got a huge wad of hair stuck in her throat and it made me want to wring her by her skinny neck, that hideous scene-stealer. She's not replacing Sharpay that easily.
Speaking of Sharpay, she actually had the guts to suggest a one-woman show, and it's no secret who that woman is, yeah? Sharpay, you're cool and all, but sometimes you tend to overdo things a bit, ya know what I mean? Good thing there's Kelsi to shoot down your stupid...I mean...err...less-than-stellar ideas. (Kelsi you totally rock!) It was funny how she signed up the whole class to the musical to prevent Sharpay's disastrous plans. Haha.
Then there's lunch, and East High's cafeteria is transformed into Sharpay's (and Ryan's, probably) world. "I Want It All" is one of my favorite songs because it's fun, it's flashy, and it's full of Sharpay glam and Ryan hotness. Then...and then...Sharpay suggests her MOST BRILLIANT IDEA EVER. She wants Ryan to seduce Kelsi with his blonde and blinding hotness, and she says, "Polish her glasses, buy her ruby slippers, take her to prom!" Sharpay, Sharpay, Sharpay. You are one smart bitch! Yes Ryan! Listen to your evil twin sister and take Kelsi to prom! Yeah! Take that, ya mothafudgers!
Ahem..hehe. Sorry. Got carried away. Then there's the scene where the gang performed "A Night to Remember", and Ryelsi's entrance is grand! Just grand, I tell you! They just look so damn good together, the Composer and the Choreographer. Cue Ryelsi shippers' screams and giggles. Man, I am so smashed.
And then..and then.... *Tentenenententeeeeeeen!!!* We come to one of my favorite parts: the grand scene of Ryan and Kelsi where they drink tea and sing together! (cue *awwwww!*) It was perfect, and I bet my brother's balls that they were totally made for each other. *Sigh*
We all know that when good things happen (i.e. Ryelsi), then foul things must come right after (i.e. Troyella). I hate this part, hate it to the bottom of my long intestine, and I can't even bear to see the overflowing Gabriella emo-ness. The whole thing reeked of the most annoying sap I've had the misfortune to watch, and I almost empathized with Troy (and his hot man-bangs).
Then we come to another favorite of mine. The whole let's-act-like-toddlers-and-play-with-plastic-swords thing was cute, and the choreography was downright nifty, though the kiddie version of Troy looked slightly...off. Little-Chad is cute, though.
Gabriella's emo-song...is unmentionable. "Walk Away" is aggravating, and it's grating on my nerves (and ears). Y'know what, let's just NOT talk about it.
Moving on..moving on...Troy has a fight with his Dad, and he runs off to the school (how the hell did he get inside?) and suddenly, there was a thunderstorm (it rains waaaay too much, if you ask me). The following scenes are either oozing with hot Troy manliness, or still hot Troy gayness, I was spazzing and going nuts. There was grinding, bumping, shaking, swaying, leaning and over-all STEAMING gyrating with lots and lots of dreamy emo-ness. Oh freaking gods.
Then the freakiest thing happens. Miss Darbus suddenly appears from out of the darkness, and starts yapping about finding yourself and self-discovery and all that jazz...Ms. D, we love you and all, but that appearing-out-of-the-darkness thing is just...plain scary. Don't do that again. And how many teachers stay at school until late at night? No one. Besides murderous teachers from hell.
More Troyella shit. I can't even begin to think about it. Yeah, yeah. We get it. Troy loves Gabriella, Gabriella loves Troy. Now that we've settled that matter (repeatedly), I think it's high time for some RYELSI!!!
Then, there's the play. Ryan and Kelsi fluffiness! I love all the winking-and-smiling-at-each other part. I've said it once and I'm saying it again. Ryan and Kelsi are totally made for each other. FREAKING YEAH!
I wish that they could've included Zeke, Jason, Martha and Kelsi in the last part and not just the main six. It would've been awesome to the point of ultra-awesomeness. To sum it all up, Gabriella is sickening, Troy's man-bangs are hot, Troyella is sickening, Chad is cute, Taylor is funny, Tiara and Rocketboy are weird, Sharpay is her usual exaggerated self, Ryelsi is AWESOME, the scores and songs are waaaay better than HSM2, and I enjoyed it. Really. You guys should watch it.
Toodles.
Needless to say, I almost had a heart attack when Troy's face suddenly popped up on screen in the first scene, panting like a dog in heat. It was hot, yeah, if you ignore the fact that he had excessive pink lip gloss on and he was sweating buckets of fake sweat. Then there comes the proverbial deciding shot where the unknown player (in HSM 3, the Rocketboy or whatever) makes it and the team wins. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. (What team? WILDCATS! What team? WILDCATS!)
Then there's the post-victory party, in which the puke-inducing scene of Troyella on the oh-so-secluded tree house (which just came out of nowhere) made me throw up all the cheeseburger and fries that I gobbled up during the previews (that House Bunny movie seemes hilarious. must watch it). The next scene is...AGAIN...full of fucked-up Troyella. This is the part where Gabriella dances a la brothel style, and I got hit smack-dab on the face by a hot, dripping Troy. (You just gotta admit it, Troy's man-bangs is hot. I mean, girly hair on a manly guy? Come on.)
Let's go to the new characters, shall we? Jimmy the Rocketboy is downright freaky, man. He's started following Troy around like a whore in heat ever since the Wildcats' win, and he's asking for Troy's old locker. He says that it will give him an edge or superpowers in basketball or something, but let's face it, he's a gay stalker who's got the hots for the hot captain. I seriously think that he totally wants to steal Troy's gym shorts and sleep with it. And then there's Tiara Gold. I think she's an annoying, little cockroach. And unlike what Sharpay said, her accent is so not sweet, very far from Daniel Radcliffe's steaming British accent. It's like she's got a huge wad of hair stuck in her throat and it made me want to wring her by her skinny neck, that hideous scene-stealer. She's not replacing Sharpay that easily.
Speaking of Sharpay, she actually had the guts to suggest a one-woman show, and it's no secret who that woman is, yeah? Sharpay, you're cool and all, but sometimes you tend to overdo things a bit, ya know what I mean? Good thing there's Kelsi to shoot down your stupid...I mean...err...less-than-stellar ideas. (Kelsi you totally rock!) It was funny how she signed up the whole class to the musical to prevent Sharpay's disastrous plans. Haha.
Then there's lunch, and East High's cafeteria is transformed into Sharpay's (and Ryan's, probably) world. "I Want It All" is one of my favorite songs because it's fun, it's flashy, and it's full of Sharpay glam and Ryan hotness. Then...and then...Sharpay suggests her MOST BRILLIANT IDEA EVER. She wants Ryan to seduce Kelsi with his blonde and blinding hotness, and she says, "Polish her glasses, buy her ruby slippers, take her to prom!" Sharpay, Sharpay, Sharpay. You are one smart bitch! Yes Ryan! Listen to your evil twin sister and take Kelsi to prom! Yeah! Take that, ya mothafudgers!
Ahem..hehe. Sorry. Got carried away. Then there's the scene where the gang performed "A Night to Remember", and Ryelsi's entrance is grand! Just grand, I tell you! They just look so damn good together, the Composer and the Choreographer. Cue Ryelsi shippers' screams and giggles. Man, I am so smashed.
And then..and then.... *Tentenenententeeeeeeen!!!* We come to one of my favorite parts: the grand scene of Ryan and Kelsi where they drink tea and sing together! (cue *awwwww!*) It was perfect, and I bet my brother's balls that they were totally made for each other. *Sigh*
We all know that when good things happen (i.e. Ryelsi), then foul things must come right after (i.e. Troyella). I hate this part, hate it to the bottom of my long intestine, and I can't even bear to see the overflowing Gabriella emo-ness. The whole thing reeked of the most annoying sap I've had the misfortune to watch, and I almost empathized with Troy (and his hot man-bangs).
Then we come to another favorite of mine. The whole let's-act-like-toddlers-and-play-with-plastic-swords thing was cute, and the choreography was downright nifty, though the kiddie version of Troy looked slightly...off. Little-Chad is cute, though.
Gabriella's emo-song...is unmentionable. "Walk Away" is aggravating, and it's grating on my nerves (and ears). Y'know what, let's just NOT talk about it.
Moving on..moving on...Troy has a fight with his Dad, and he runs off to the school (how the hell did he get inside?) and suddenly, there was a thunderstorm (it rains waaaay too much, if you ask me). The following scenes are either oozing with hot Troy manliness, or still hot Troy gayness, I was spazzing and going nuts. There was grinding, bumping, shaking, swaying, leaning and over-all STEAMING gyrating with lots and lots of dreamy emo-ness. Oh freaking gods.
Then the freakiest thing happens. Miss Darbus suddenly appears from out of the darkness, and starts yapping about finding yourself and self-discovery and all that jazz...Ms. D, we love you and all, but that appearing-out-of-the-darkness thing is just...plain scary. Don't do that again. And how many teachers stay at school until late at night? No one. Besides murderous teachers from hell.
More Troyella shit. I can't even begin to think about it. Yeah, yeah. We get it. Troy loves Gabriella, Gabriella loves Troy. Now that we've settled that matter (repeatedly), I think it's high time for some RYELSI!!!
Then, there's the play. Ryan and Kelsi fluffiness! I love all the winking-and-smiling-at-each other part. I've said it once and I'm saying it again. Ryan and Kelsi are totally made for each other. FREAKING YEAH!
I wish that they could've included Zeke, Jason, Martha and Kelsi in the last part and not just the main six. It would've been awesome to the point of ultra-awesomeness. To sum it all up, Gabriella is sickening, Troy's man-bangs are hot, Troyella is sickening, Chad is cute, Taylor is funny, Tiara and Rocketboy are weird, Sharpay is her usual exaggerated self, Ryelsi is AWESOME, the scores and songs are waaaay better than HSM2, and I enjoyed it. Really. You guys should watch it.
Toodles.
0 comments:
Post a Comment